What does it mean to you to stop and smell the roses? For me it means slow down. A lesson I seem to have to learn and relearn on a fairly regular basis. If, like me your life is a constant stream of movement then this might be just what you needed to hear today.
Being a goal focused person has many positives and a few prominent negatives. One of the negatives from my vantage point is in the everyday push toward the next goal. In this exciting process it becomes apparent that I forget to stop and smell the roses. Becoming hyper focused on the next task can drown out the beauty in the present moment.
A perfect example of this is while in the middle of a task you’re focused on the task that needs to follow immediately after this one. Sound familiar? (I know I am guilty of this on a daily basis). As a hyper driven person who wants to make a difference in peoples lives I often forget to enjoy it as I am doing it.
So this blog post has one purpose. That purpose is to help us navigate our way back to smelling the roses, enjoying the moments and relaxing enough to notice the small details. In order to do that we must first address the underlining issue. The issue is we drown out what is important for what we tell ourselves is most pressing.
Allow me to elaborate. Meaningful interactions with people has true importance. Those interactions are with those you work with as well as with family, friends and even people you randomly encounter. Taking the time to genuinely take an interest in their lives instead of getting by with meaningless small talk.
Small talk has its place but should not be replacing true connection. If I am being honest, because I am a counselor and take my delicate position in my clients lives seriously, I often leave myself at empty when it comes time to deal with anything else. I recently began questioning my own values as it felt as though I was putting work before anything else. Because all my energy both physical and mental began and ended with my clients there wasn’t must leftover for anything or anyone else.
Once I realized this was slowly becoming my reality I began to make a few changes. At first they were subtle and then I went all in. I began holding off my therapy notes until after my kids were in bed or otherwise occupied with their own activities and school work. This opened 2 hours or more a day of time I once spent with added work and I now devoted to either my kids, spending time with people I care about or just making a phone call to see how someone was doing.
I was beginning to smell the roses again and they were stupendous. So from there I took it another step further and began devoting more time to my own self care needs. If you know me you know I am a HUGE advocate of self care. So instead of just going to the gym in the mornings to work out I began carving in a 15 minute hydro massage 4 days a week.
The roses were very fragrant now and I was on a role. I then started enjoying reading novels again, which I had not indulged in since before my masters program. Nobody could stop me from enjoying the roses at that point. I continued to slow down the pace of my life and events stopped moving in fast forward.
This is not to say I gave up my goals, or stopped being who I am innately, which is a goal oriented person. It means I have allotted time in my life for more than just the next task. I consciously press pause in moments so that they however small the detail become ingrained in my memory. To enjoy the things and people in life that I am meant to enjoy. I can now enjoy my career and I have a healthier balance of go go go with stop, and enjoy.
What are the roses in your life that you have not made time to stop and smell? Be honest with yourself, make a list if you need to, and carve out the time to be in the moment. Let life’s moments guide what you are paying attention to. All we have is the here and the now. So do yourself a favor, learn the lesson that I have had to learn if you have not already. Take a breath, the dishes can wait, and enjoy what is meant to be enjoyed in this very moment. No better time than NOW.
As usual if you or anyone you know need someone to help to relearn what it means to stop and smell the roses you can contact me at mybeachtherapy.net. I would be happy to walk beside you or help you find someone in your area that can.
